An All American Experience at All American Burger

The hamburger – it is, without question, the quintessential patriarch of Classic American cuisine. As one of the few dishes that speaks the same culinary language nationwide, you’d be hard-pressed not to find your standard hamburger from coast to coast, sea to shining sea.

In recent years, however, the typical hamburger has been jazzed up from your typical patty and bun to some almost-foreign creation piled high with endless accents of fancy cheeses, unusual condiments, and pretty much anything else that you wouldn’t expect to find under the doughy top dome. And yes, while these masterpieces may be delicious, they will, arguably, never compare to the classic hamburger.

It is for this reason, precisely, that so many unassuming, old-fashioned burger joints are still thriving today. From the retro décor to the faithful old recipes, these places subliminally promise their diners one crucial thing – that they haven’t changed in years, and they don’t plan to do so in the future either. It is this reliability, above anything else, that ensures a customer’s return.

This past weekend, I too got the chance to experience one of these good old-fashioned burger joints. After venturing to the renowned All American Burger on Long Island, a place that I have heard so much about time and time again, I was ready to try out one of their burgers for myself.


Pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant, it had a very humble quality which I most definitely expected. There were picnic tables outside for those who wanted to dine somewhere other than in their cars, though everyone opted for the latter as the weather was not conducive to outdoor dining. Inside the actual building was a simple counter with registers and cashiers which sat just in front of a large menu board.

The menu contained the standard faire – burgers, fries, onion rings, thick shakes. But it also contained a few surprises; I can’t say that I really anticipated finding knishes, fish fillets, butterfly shrimp, and “tuna on a bun” at a place like this. But hey, who am I to judge?

I ordered very strategically (or so I like to think), by getting a single cheeseburger, side of onion rings, and a Coke, bringing my total to a whopping $3 and change – a splurge, I know. Once my order was ready (which was only about 2 or 3 minutes after I had placed it), I headed straight for the car.

My first bite of All-American Burger, the cheeseburger, was, in one word, average. The bun was very soft and lacked a degree of texture, the meat itself was a severely deflated patty expertly hidden between the two saucers of dough, and the cheese was palatably processed, though nicely melted. Finished off with a squirt or two of ketchup and a few slices of pickle, it reminded me, almost exactly of, dare I say it, a McDonald’s cheeseburger. The onion rings were reminiscent of a similar caliber; they were void of the characteristic battered crunch, were not all that hot upon arrival, and could have benefitted from a bit more seasoning. But was I disappointed? No, not really.

As surprising as it may be based on my critique, I cannot find much fault with All American Burger. They delivered on good prices, fast service, and a familiar flavor experience that, on occasion (however rare that may be), most of us really don’t mind having. Like I said, it’s that dependability factor. It’s that mental, if not also emotional, comfort and insurance from knowing exactly what you're going to get.

So if I felt like going out on a whim in search of a predictable, common, run of the mill hamburger, would I return to All American Burger?

Yes, absolutely.